10 Things To Do on a Road Trip to Modesto

1. Stop for fast food that you would normally never eat.

2. Watch the little blue dot on Google maps. Alternate between zooming in and zooming out.

3. Knit half of an adult-size sock.

4. Get grossed out by bugs splattered on the windshield. Then try to identify the various species.

5. Observe farming practices. Ask your companion “what do you think … Is for?” every time you see a new one.

6. Scan radio stations. Finally settle in forcing your fiancé to listen to One Direction. Giggle quietly when he sings along.

7. Observe cows crowded in pens. Make a plan to lay in wait until dark and then break down the fences to set the cows free so they can happily roam the valley. Name the plan Project Bovine Freedom.

8. Realize that when you break down the cows’ fences, they will just stare at you. Cancel Project Bovine Freedom.

9. Eat chips.

10. Try to read the Thomas Guide. Get super annoyed that the page organization doesn’t make any more sense now than when you were 16.



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